My life is funny. Is everyone's life funny?

[fluffy]

two words...............

Avain Flu.......

fluffy

[quirky]

Not a CHICKEN or a GOOSE!!!

A flippin cockatiel or parakeet.

[fluffy]

lol................you could get one of Mr Purdues chickens and put it on a lead...........lol......

AVIAN...........means birds...........it doesn't care if it's a chicken or a parrot................

we had 60 parrot cases in quarantine croak..............

fluffy

[quirky]

Really? Poor babies! I love parrots! That's too sad.

[thecablegal]

I'm getting a Parrot from Birmingham, with the accent. That would be funny. It could curse people who come in my room!

[fluffy]

Jasper Parrot..............hahahahahah

fluffy

[quirky]

My dad raised birds. We had this one especially good talker and my brothers wanted to teach it to say:

#$%

&$%#

and

$%^*

So they'd whisper to the bird, because they didn't want to get in trouble.

Finally, the bird learned to WHISPER several cuss words.

[quirky]

Ever regret that you didn't say something in retrospect? This was a long time ago...I had forgotten until my cousin reminded me, but when I asked my boss for the day off to go audition for Jeopardy she said in all seriousness..."Do you think you're SMART enough to go on Jeopardy?"

So, as you can imagine...it was a big succulent crow she ate....

But I went on this live local TV show right after the last one aired and the host actually asked me, "So...do you think you're smarter than most people?"

I should have said, "No...just my boss."

[quirky]

My junior year in high school, the musical was "The Man of La Mancha." The guys were excited, because the two main roles were men.

The teacher asked me to please audition for Sancho Panza. I said, "That's a guys role!" She said, "I know, but I want you to try out for it."

I felt bad for the guys who wanted it, who were seniors, but the teacher decided to cast me in the role of Sancho.

I loved the role, because Sancho is so much the comic relief in the musical.

How do you make a very blonde, curvy girl into a man? Ace bandages black hair and a beard.

When the whole thing was over, they returned to me a leather vest of my dad's that I had used as part of the costume.

I took it home and the next thing I knew, Dad was saying "Jill!!!"

When I got to him, he was holding a condom in a packet. He said, "Do you know what this is?" I said, "Yes." He said, "how did it get in the pocket of my leather vest?" I said, I dunno. He said, "that's hard to believe." I said, "It's the truth!"

So anyway I went into school the next day and asked the theatre geeks what the condom was doing in my pocket.

It turned out that, in the jail scene where Sancho and Quixote's clothes are stolen, it would be funny to pass around a condom WHILE ONSTAGE to see what happened.
What happened was that Debbie, who played Aldonza....stuck it in the jacket pocket.


I told them what happened at home and I've never heard such laughter.

[fluffy]

lol........when we were about 15 the boys at school used to blow up condoms and put them over their heads so they'd look like Mr Cone head...........lol.......
then they'd wonder why their hair was all greasy..............and we wouldn't go out with them...........lol

fluffy

[quirky]

Oh this went WAY beyond that....

I honestly think that my dad was ready to have a sex talk with me. And believe me, I did NOTHING in Highschool except make friends.

I wasn't even THINKING sex.

[fluffy]

lol.........OMG i got the sex talk when i was 8..........my parents wanted to get in early.............
but then i went all round the neighbourhood telling all the local kids my new discovery and all their parents had to do the sex talk thing too.............lol........
we were the most 'aware' bunch of kids in the school and when it came to the madatory 'Living and growing' lessons the teacher got the shock of her life............i think she thought we'd been at it early............lol

speaking of that In dundee two 8 Year olds were caught naked, simulating sex behind the bins...........how romantic..............lol

fluffy

[quirky]

My mom was a nurse. I got the "dear Abby" books left in my room.

This was after the abuse from my brother.

[omnipresence]

I know this is the wrong place but I just have an urge to say
"we need to use the chat room more"

[quirky]

I just had to go buy a bungload of groceries, all the baking supplies, etc.

I had a nice conversation with a lady about lard.

Then I checked out and the checkout lady was talking to me and when I turned around, MY CART was totally NOT THERE!!!

We looked about 50 feet away and a woman was pushing a cart with lots of groceries. The bag boy said, "Bertha Bertha....that's not your cart....
Bertha!" I guess perhaps it has happened before. Now I think they should do that. It would make shopping more like a game of chance.

And so I'm making these brownies, I like the fudge swirl ones, but they had new peanut butter brownies and my cousin likes peanuts and chocolate.

So, they're in the oven now for 34-37 minutes.
Why doesn't the box say, "approx 35 minutes"???