marriage..............

[fluffy]

ok..........is marriage a curse or a blessing to a good relationship??.......many of you know i bolted from my engagement....and recent talks of marriage in the press got me thinking........will marriage strangulate or strengthen a relationship?..........i've known heaps of folk who got married only to find themselves divorced after a couple of years.........would they have survived co-habitation instead??........we have one of the highest rates of co-habitation in the world in the UK...........and one of the highest divorce rates in Europe...........so what's going on??.............should i aspire to a life of co-habiting freedom??.......or marital bliss??/constraint.............??...........
what's your view...............has marriage had it's day..........??

fluffy

[Happygal]

I don't know, if you ask me marriage has a stronger commitment than co-habitation.

[Clemmy]

I once wanted to get married, have a small, but beautiful wedding cerimony, a honeymoon in a romantic place ... sighs... as I grew older, I realized that these rituals do not create commitment between two people. I've seen friends going through all that and few years later ending up in bitter disputes over the dog... oh yeah, I am not counting the cheating.... I've seen friends just living together and been so faithful and respectful to each other that I would say they were in a blessed relationship.... and I've seen the opposite as well in both situations. After all, it may sound cliche, but it depends on the individuals and how they face life together.

[quirky]

There are some benefits to being in a marriage.

I have no idea if it's outdated...I still hope to do it someday in a nice field, wearing overalls and holding a bouquet of daisies.

Now....I pause for a Kenny Rogers moment:

Through the years....you've never let me down...you turned my life around.....

[jimliker]

i always c marriage as a more stronger bond than live in relationship.

[quirky]

It IS still becoming increasingly acceptable to cohabit.


Everyone considered him the coward of the county,
He'd never stood one single time to prove the county wrong,
His momma named him Tommy but folks just called him Yellow....

[Michele Hernandez]

I was going to write exactly this: I know it sounds cliche, but it's up to the individual...and then I read Clemmy's post....her exact words....I'm not fooling, you know me.....

[wonderbunny]

I happen to think marriage is sweet, anyone can co-habitate. But to actually commit; that's the good stuff.

[fluffy]

it's interesting stuff, there's definitely a difference in opinion across the pond.......i wonder why??

fluffy

[Niobe]

I got married when I was young and it didn't last. I made a big mistake. Perhaps I'm now jaded, but I don't believe marriage is essential for a relationship. That's just me though.
I know that certificate is very important to some people, but I suppose everyone is different.
I've co-habited for over eight years now and I don't feel the need to change that set-up.

Bottom line is: each to their own, but I believe that deciding NOT to marry is no big stigma now. People say co-habiting is a lesser bond, a weakened union....but I would like to think I prove that wrong.

[KC8t80]

i honestly believe that marriage is a blessing. but i think the reason why some think that it is better not to marry is because some of them got married too early or too fast. marriages these days are being rushed. i say if u are thinking of getting married.....get engaged first. being engaged helps decide if two people should be married. if the two people can't survive the engagement then they are not ready to assume the responsibilites that come with title.

[shamaho]

what a loaded question; having recently come out of a twenty year marriage (my first!) I would have to say it's not the institution or lack thereof that makes the difference, it's your commitment to the relationship. I bent over backwards for years trying to make it work, not realizing I was sacrificing a big part of myself in the process. But looking back on it, having raised two beautiful young women, I have very few regrets - the main one being wasted time deciding to stand up for what I want.

[Filomena]

I don't think a piece of paper proves you're committed to someone.

Having said that though, I think marriage is something that happens naturally when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It's automatic, like breathing.

The real question then, for me, is not marriage vs. cohabitation. But commitment. Is it possible to be committed to someone for the rest of your life? Does true love exist?

Or, like Jim Carrey once said, is it only possible for around ten years or so?

[shamaho]

when i got married i was thoroughly convinced it was for life, and so was he....but people change. and speaking of JC, it's no secret to anyone who knows me that i'd give my right arm for ten minutes! damn these fingers - i'm typing stuff out loud again!! but seriously, i would consider ten years a success, as i consider twenty a success for me, and we have two wonderful children to show for it.

[lammy]

I will only marry once and if I marry when I am 60 then it will be fine for me...when you marry your soul mate and you are joined with God.