My life is funny. Is everyone's life funny?

[fluffy]

"Moscow on the Hudson".............is that a good movie???........should i rent it??..........

fluffy

[quirky]

Oh yeah! Rent it. It's a brilliant performance by Robin Williams!

[quirky]

Don't you hate it when you've rented a movie and not watched it yet and your brother says, "That one's AWFUL!" So then you're caught someplace in the middle? Should you watch the movie so then you can say, "You weren't lying, that movie sucked!" Or should you watch the movie and say, " I always knew you were the weird one....that movie was GREAT!"

[Niobe]

I'd just watch it. I know my brother and I have very different tastes in films so I wouldn't always trust his judgement. Well about as far as I could spit a rat!

Did you watch it?

[quirky]

I'd just watch it. I know my brother and I have very different tastes in films so I wouldn't always trust his judgement. Well about as far as I could spit a rat!

Did you watch it?

Not yet. I have it till' Friday. It's "The Weatherman" with Nicolas Cage and I usually like his movies.

My brother didn't like "Crash" either. We are definitely very different in terms of what we enjoy.

[Niobe]

Hmm, I liked the idea of 'The Weatherman'. Then I heard crap reviews and didn't bother with it. Tough call.
If you rented it....watch it.

[quirky]

Well....I watched it halfway through...and then vetoed. Not because it's bad...just because it's so $%$ depressing.

On another thread recently, we were talking about humorous parents.

One day at Applebee's my father convinced the waitress that riblets are from alligators. "You don't see ribs this small in a pig or cow! No one cares if the alligator children are harvested! It's a public service!"

[quirky]

Tonight was family dinner night. I took Peeps along today because he hasn't been out in awhile. He rides on the passenger seat headrest.

We got safely to grandma's...set the table and baked some biscuits. Peeps was in the living room when we all sat down to dinner in the kitchen. Peeps has been flying a lot more and he flew from the living room to a chair....then from a chair to the table. My brother picked him up...then scared him and he flew and landed on my face. I mean ON MY FACE, trying to use my nose as a perch. But he has these little sharp claws on his feet and one was up my left nostril and the other one's trying to get a foothold on the area between my nose and right eye.

I was flapping my arms around, with the bird fluttering away on my face and I asked for help. And I got laughed at. Oh, yeah....really freaking hysterical !!! No one could help because they were all laughing too much at the figure of me with a flapping bird on my face waving my arms around. My nostril will recover. I will avenge this somehow.

[fluffy]

Aren't you worried he'll fly off??

fluffy

[quirky]

Aren't you worried he'll fly off??

fluffy

I don't give him the chance. He's indoors or I have a hold on him nowadays.

[quirky]

I just saw a car with a licence plate that said, "Bud LT 1"....now....I may be way off....but isn't that like fly paper for cops???

"I can't see why they keep pulling me over, dude!"
"Dude...I get it more than you..."
"What's your license plate say?
"Meth DLR 2."
"But neither of us have it as bad as "CRAK HD 5".

[mav]

Exam Howlers


These items have been selected from lists of answers from 16 year olds.

Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah".
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type of the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

[mav]

Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sahara Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of the Sahara is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made Unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.
The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.
Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out:"Tee hee, Brutus."
Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle on them.
Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw.
Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offence.
In midevil times most people were alliterate. Yhe greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.
Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.
During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic.
The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith wa responsible for all this.
One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis.
Delegates from the original states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferon, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin dicovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared,"A horse divided against itself cannot stand". Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, Lincoln went to the theatre and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believed the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.
Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.
Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Hendel. Hendel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.
Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West.
Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.
The ninetheened century was a time of great many inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.
The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

[quirky]

Oh gosh....those are funny....and sad at the same time.

How much of your high school history class do you remember? I found old essays of mine that blew me away, because I remember that I KNEW the material then. There's one about the Night of the Long Knives...which I'm very grateful that I learned about because it has come up in conversation .... ......well.... never.

[quirky]

Today was perfect. We took a long ride along the Mississippi in Illinois, then crossed the river and came back on the Iowa side. It's such a treat to be able to enjoy the scenery because my brother was driving. I must have needed a wake-up call...this area is SO beautiful...and the weather was just perfect...the whole drive was just SO enjoyable. Really hard to put into words....verdant and varied like a master painter had created the scenery.