It occurs to me...

[fluffy]

i geddit??.........Cotton just told me it was the MSN thing...........my msn can be weird............it logs me on and out when i'm on and on when i'm out..........lol..............it can look as though i'm here and i'm not..........lol...........i would ignore anyone......i LOVE msn.......lol

fluffy

[quirky]

I succombed to the Haagen Dasz, guys.

It always sings a siren song at me from the freezer case.

[fluffy]

lol...............praaaaaaalines n' creeeeam.....praaaaaaalines........lol.....
such sweet melody...........lol.........
drawing you in, capturing your soul, torturing your diet..........lol........

sooooo delicious............yum

fluffy

[quirky]

It sang:

Here I am all alone...
Haagen Dasz' caramel cone...
Please don't eat me really fast...
Ice cream goes right to your @$$.

[fluffy]

But sweet and tasty
as can be,
that ice cream cone cried
PLEASE eat me.
And so you did,
with ardent joy.
With ice cream cones
who needs a boy??


FLUFFY

[cotton]

It sang:

Here I am all alone...
Haagen Dasz' caramel cone...
Please don't eat me really fast...
Ice cream goes right to your @$$.

or you could end it like this

Cause if you do I'll give you gas

[quirky]

But sweet and tasty
as can be,
that ice cream cone cried
PLEASE eat me.
And so you did,
with ardent joy.
With ice cream cones
who needs a boy??


FLUFFY

Well, I like Haagen Dasz it's true,
I often go to where they sell it,
It would make me a bit less blue
If I knew for sure how to spell it.

It's really quite sublime you know,
Of Haagen Dasz I am a fan,
But I hope I never really think
That ice cream can replace a man.

[fluffy]

lol.........do you remember the adverts a few years back showing Haagen Dagz as a really sexy food to be eaten in bed during the deed.........lol....as an aphrodisiac..........imagine it melting on you and the man licking it off etc etc......................lol..........
in those circumstances, man and ice cream can co-habit quite nicely.......lol

fluffy

[quirky]

I'll be right back after another quick shower.

[cotton]

Again Quirky??? Save some water for the fish!

[cotton]

Vaseline


A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his
grandma, "Where's Mom and dad?" and she replied, "they're up in
bed." The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and
went out to play.

Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "where's
Mom and Dad?" and she replied "they're still up in bed." Again
the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went
out to play.

Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked
his grandma "where's Mom and dad?" and his grandmother replied
"they're still up in bed." The little boy started to laugh
and his grandmother asked, "what gives? Every time I tell you
they're still up in bed you start to laugh! what is going on
here?"

The little boy replied, "well last night daddy came into my
bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue."

[quirky]

Reminds me of the Huey Lewis song Happy to be Stuck With you!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh..........earworm!

[wonderbunny]

You want to play charades? I get to be MSG!

[quirky]

Mono sodium glutamate?

[cotton]

Laugh at the Pregnant Lady


A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.
When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling
humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and
he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth
move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

The case came before the court, and when asked why he acted in
such a manner, the man replied, "When the lady boarded the bus I
couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an
advertisement which read, 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins.'
Then she moved under one that read, 'Sloans Liniments Remove
Swelling.' I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving
advertisement which read, 'William's Stick Did The Trick.' Then
I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move
she sat under an advertisement which read, 'Dunlop Rubber would
have prevented this accident.'" He won the case.

How to Bathe a Cat


Dear Cat Owner,

Following are instructions on the best way to bathe your cat:

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and
have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close
both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot
escape). CAUTION: Don't get any part of your body too close to
the edge, as his paws will be reaching out to grab anything they
can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never
mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually
enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a "powerwash and
rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that
there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift
both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run
outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,

The DOG


Interesting Facts (With Interesting Comments)


If you yelled for 8 years,7 months and 6 days you would have
produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas
is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the
body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(Oh my God...!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life I want to be a pig)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it
starves to death.
(Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home .. maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is
attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the
male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human
jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life ... quality over
quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than
left-handed people do.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....)

A cat's urine glows under a blacklight.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(Who knew...? Who cares! )

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for
pleasure.
(What about the pig?)


btw those comments are not mine