Does Jim still...?

[fluffy]

Believe me when i say those of you with siblings are really very very lucky.................
i've mentioned this briefly and Quirky knows but i will never know my siblings and it kills me......i'll never be a sister, and i'll never be an auntie........
When the chips are down they are your family...........give thanks for them, you'll miss them when they are gone.........

Fluffy

[cotton]

I feel bad sometimes cause I can not give my daughter a brother or a sister. She is always asking for one too.

[quirky]

But she's got those guy in spandex singing "Achy Breaky Heart" out in front of your house. They're still there, aren't they?

[searching_for_sunshine]

you're right quirky, i need to make the first step since their situation is so strange.

fluffy thanks for reminding me that siblings really are gifts - even when there is tension - that tension and the working through it, is teaching us something and that is a gift.

i'll keep you posted. we're having our first family reunion since my dad died, in august. God, give me strength

[quirky]

Believe me when i say those of you with siblings are really very very lucky.................
i've mentioned this briefly and Quirky knows but i will never know my siblings and it kills me......i'll never be a sister, and i'll never be an auntie........
When the chips are down they are your family...........give thanks for them, you'll miss them when they are gone.........

Fluffy

Fluffs...I think you should reach out to your siblings. I know it's easy for me to say, but it's making you so sad to know they are so close at hand and at the same time so far out of reach. Great things could happen. Sometimes, even though we're supposed to honor them...parents are wrong. You say it would hurt your Dad for you to find the siblings, but how much is it hurting YOU to know that they are there and some invisible fortress is keeping you from them. I pray you can find the strength to reach out to them. And to heal the feelings between you and your father regarding their existence.

As you said, they are your family...while the human race can be great, it can't replace the love and intimacy of family. You must ache so badly knowing that it's there if only you can reach out and touch it.

[quirky]

I feel bad sometimes cause I can not give my daughter a brother or a sister. She is always asking for one too.

Have you ever thought of adopting? My cousin travels a lot for her work and she recently had a trip to China. She said the airport was full of parents accepting adopted girl babies because the Chinese want males. Sad.

I wonder how the balance of population is going to be in China in 50 years? There won't be anyone to MAKE the babies.

Also, a local girl on a mission trip to Romania fell in love with one of the orphans there in an orphanage. She just saw something special in him and when she came back, she convinced her middle aged parents to adopt Daniel. He is a total joy and one of the best friends of my little cousin. (Who is an only child herself, but she has lots of friends.)

I'm sure you're a great parent Cotton...you don't have anything to feel bad about.

[fluffy]

As you said, they are your family...while the human race can be great, it can't replace the love and intimacy of family. You must ache so badly knowing that it's there if only you can reach out and touch it

i grew up a self-sufficient individual ,like most only children.............i'm used to it i guess............
And who's to say they would welcome me with open arms.........
No, whilst i admit to masochistic tendencies i'm not ready for that degree of rejection.............not yet.........

But thanks for your kind advice.........i will think about it...i promise

Fluffy

[Janel]

I am proud of you all--family rifts can run deep and hurt so profoundly. In Romans it talks about staying at peace with others "as far as it depends on you". A relief to know that it is not expected for us to lie down like a doormat and pretend things are ok when they're not. But, "as far as it depends on us" we should do what we can, when we can. Love to you all.....working girl so tired.....must feed my kids......love, love, love....

[Janel]

Janel will like this:

Quirky.....you go! Sounds like you found some practical answers and I am so proud of you for acting on what you read. Well done!!!!

[cotton]

Have you ever thought of adopting?

Well my problem is that We do not have the space or money for another child. Plus my marriage sucks.

[quirky]

Ouch. That's something I have no experience with, so I can't even imagine what you're going through.

[searching_for_sunshine]

janel, thank you so much for the quote from Romans. i grew up in a family where if you didn't become a doormat to other people you were made to feel guilty. being the feisty one in my family, i grew out of that before anyone else and now i try to "tell-it-like-it-is," being honest to my feelings but yet mindful not to say things in a way that will hurt others. the only person i have not been able to communicate like that with is my brother's wife and that is due to her mental illness.

quirky, i'm still working on how to approach the subject with my brother. i'd rather not do it over the phone but we live very far apart. and yes, i know that is just an excuse but it's where i am right now

[quirky]

I grew up in a family where appearances were very important. Still, when I go to church with grandma I put on something slightly dressy because that's the expectation for my family. Even though other people are there in jeans.

I mean, I'd love to sling on some jeans to go worship. I can worship while I'm smoking on my back porch amongst the flowerpots in my PJ's...why can't I wear jeans to church?

THE REASON: Grandma would take one look at me and say, "You're not wearing THAT, are you?"

But I love her dearly.

[searching_for_sunshine]

i know that look...side of guilt table 4

[quirky]

Yeah. I had to pray for a lot of patience last night getting ready for the family dinner. I was knocking myself out to get everything ready and she was concerned because I had set the table before properly making sure the freakin' PLASTIC tablecloth was where it ought to be. But I love her dearly and she deserves the best. She's a great role model it's just that sometimes, SHEESH. I'm 35 not 97.