And also, God is always with you-you are part of God.
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My life is funny. Is everyone's life funny?
So the other day I took my grandma to the bakery she likes. She went in and I decided to have a cigarette. There had been a guy talking to the owner lady and I was turned, but I heard him come up behind me. (I had my cheap Jackie O sunglasses on) and he said, "I have to tell you...there's no smoking on the premises." So I said, "Oh, I'm sorry...I'll put it out." (I was in a parking lot next to an alley.) Then he said, "But I'm going to make an exception for you because you're a good looking blonde and you look good smoking. " I said, "I really should quit." And he said, "No! Don't quit! I guess I gave you a lecture." When grandma came out he said, "Don't forget! Don't stop smoking."
"Que?" "When in doubt, tell the truth."
Mark Twain
He was trying to impress your gran..........and seduce you!!!.........lol..
was he a cutie?.............if so GO BACK!!!.........this time get the biggest, fattest, longest cigar you can find........lol.......that should give him a hint.......lol 
Fluffy  Fluffy
He was an elderly shirtless man. I really didn't feel like he was coming on to me. It was just a bizarre conversation. I have those frequently lately.
"When in doubt, tell the truth."
Mark Twain
I am currently experiencing a very strange chain of events, one of which include my nephew. I volunteered to take care of my sister's sons while she and her husband went on a second honeymoon. They weren't gone an hour before their eldest son, who's 16, borrowed a co-worker''s car and totalled it. Luckily he was not hurt. He was at work and did this on his break (he does not have his drivers license yet) so he panicked and called his friend to tell her what happened. She sent her dad over and they took care of the car so the police wouldn't find out. He never said a word to me about it the whole weekend. On the last day, his brother asked me to drive him to the store before his Mom & Dad got back so he could buy them a present. When we got back my sister had returned, the eldest son was sitting at the kitchen table with his face in his hands and no one was speaking. My sister was doing laundry, so I said, "Wow, you just drove for 7 hours and you come home & do laundry?" Her husband yells, "No we come home after 7 hours to find out our son has totalled someone's car!" I was stunned, upset and wanted to run all at the same time. He told me he didn't want to tell me about it because he wanted to be the one to tell his parents. We waited for the girl (who owned the car) parents to show up so we could all have a sit down and discuss what to do about this.
The parents arrive and we all sit at this giant table in the dining room. The table is tall and has barstool height chairs around it. While we were trying to get the whole story out of my nephew, their two weiner dogs came in the house and immediately started play fighting underneath the table, growling and barking. The girl's mom lifted her feet up to keep them out of the dog play. After a couple of minutes the dog's became quiet, so my sister looked under the table to see what the dogs were doing, only to see that the male had eaten the woman's sandal as she had kicked it off on the floor. My sister yells, "Oh my god! The dog just ate your shoe!" so I looked underneath the table and sure enough, it had chewed through every strap on her leather sandal. I suddenly got the giggles and had to leave the room. I genuinely felt bad for the woman, but it was so ridiculous, I couldn't believe it was all happening and I lost it. I went outside and became hysterical with laughter, completely sobbing. Everyone thought I was upset about the whole incident and they were all consoling me which put me into greater fits. I could not stop crying for about five minutes. After they left my sister thanked me, the woman never said a word about her shoe...
I'm sitting here shaking my head--I know the feeling of uncontrollable fits of laughter. Only mine usually hits in church.....
What a weekend. Did you box your nephew's ears? String him up? 79 lashes with a wet noodle? 
He is grounded for the whole summer, no phone, no TV, no going anywhere. Straight to work, then home. He has to repay the $1900 worth of damage. That's a lot of ice cream scooping! This kid is an A student, totally dependable and trustworthy. Came out of left field... I am still in shock over it. I had planned to take him to a big rockabilly festival next weekend, but now he can't go. His favorite band from Denmark is playing so he blew that chance to see them. Live and learn!
Today in the bathroom, just now in fact, was a giant horsefly. I had a flyswatter right there, but obviously...was occupied and could not be distracted to swat right at that moment. I cogitated on fluffy's ant poem, but I knew I was going to kill the horsefly.
Normally they buzz around irritatingly, but I think this horsefly knew I was coming after it because it flew right under the closed door. "When in doubt, tell the truth."
Mark Twain
horseflies suck. They sting like hell. When you like, barely hit them with the swatter they just drop on the floor and play dead. To then ressurruct again minutes later as you are already back to minding your own business again. I swatted this one fly like, continuously 6 or 7 times in a row, SWAT! SWAT! SWAT! SWAT!!!! for a couple of times but the thing just would. not. die. It ressurructed 8 times or so.
When I finally got the sucker I swear he made such a huge explosion on my window, bloody gory and all, that it took me 3 days to build up the courage to scrape it off.
Sounds like a good kid being just what he still is....just a kid! I guess sometimes we expect grown-up behavior from our teens. There is still a lot of brain development occurring (seriously!!) until the age of 21 and mistakes that are made like your nephews' are so random. It was a serious lapse in judgement, right in the frontal lobe of the brain that is still under construction!!!! Don't be shocked...can you plan something else for after his grounding that he can look forward to? I remember horseflies making my friends horses MISERABLE--they drew BLOOD on the poor animals....I think my friends would rub an ointment of some kind on their faces to keep them away.... 
Another thread reminded me. How about one at my brother's expense? When I walk around the neighborhood, it's the time of the year for the cute bunnies to be frolicking and they are enjoyable to see. When I was little one year, my brother rescued a little itty bitty bunny from a cat that was chasing it. I have no idea how he caught it....or whether the cat caught it first and then he got it. But we had it in a little cage for quite awhile. Finally, my dad gave it to some friends who had a hutch full of rabbits. Every time we'd visit them...we'd run out to see the rabbit and how it was doing and growing.
One day we visited and my brother came running back from the rabbit hutch saying, "Louie...my rabbit escaped! It's not there!" Louie said, "It didn't escape. It was delicious. There's still some left over on the table if you want it." "When in doubt, tell the truth."
Mark Twain
Yesterday at a family 4th of July potluck all the kids who used to play there are now parents with kids of their own. So they were playing a nice round of horseshoes.
So, the little girls were feeling neglected and were underfoot. Grandma got out Lawn Darts. You know....the sharp projectiles and rings that maimed many a small child back in the day? And the parents all came over yelling....whoa whoa whoa....no Grandma! NOT the lawn darts!!! And then they started telling stories about all the stupid things they did when they came to grandma's and how that's why they loved it there. "When in doubt, tell the truth."
Mark Twain
At the independence day party I went to, Almost all the adults including my parents where tipsy, So needless to say
I had alot of fun!! Ever see people who have had a few drinks play volly ball??? They hold up the ball getting ready to serve. . . And you can tell they have to ask themselves: "Which ball do I hit??" There were many collisions that night luckily no one went to the hospital!
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COMPLETELY bizarre, sometimes.....
