Rules on Dating...

[wonderbunny]

I am so confused, this whole dating thing gets confusing. I keep thinking, maybe God had right in the beginning. Pheronomes. Sniff test or something. I mean, they look good and then.... I happen to be a personality person, but a sucker for nice aftershave. Do you think maybe if everyone didn't wear aftershave/deoderant we could find our perfect mate by smell alone? 'Pardon me miss, may I smell the nape of your neck? (Works for the animal kingdom) Ace, your on! Leave it Dr. Finklestein to suggest something so primitive, yet cost effective!

[Niobe]

Men don't need aftershave to smell good. But I'd advise they stick with the deodrant!

[Jimenem]

The Steps of Dating (for girls)

1. Find someone that genuinely interests you. NOT just a pretty face.

2. Make sure he's interested in you for more than your looks.

3. Get to know him in a casual NON-DATING environment (start out as friends) Group outings with other friends. Minimal alone time.

4. If by this point you are still interested, bring up dating in a casual hypothetical, situation. See where he stands on sex, his idea of a good time, what his goals are, his motives etc. . . beware he may not be honest with you, so stay alert.

5. Start the whole dating thing.

6. Avoid getting too serious untill you know you can committ tothis ONE man and that he will committ solely to you.

Dating is the process of finding a spouse, if your not looking to marry the man eventually, don't even start dating him, you'll wind up either getting hurt or hurting him. This process allows you to get to know who he is before you committ to anything, it allows you plenty of time to get out before things get too serious. But once you pass step five, you're in for a painful break-up should that ever come to pass. So you NEED to be sure. God answers prayers. . . keep that in mind.

I gave you steps rather than rules so here are some rules.

1. Dress modestly

2. Wear perfume, (give him a smell that he can associate with you)

3. BE HONEST at all times. . . maybe not brutally much so, but if he asks you a question about yourself, DON'T embellish or lie. If he asks you a question about himself, break it to him gently, dip your knife in honey before you cut him.

4. Be sincere

5. BE LOYAL you can't be thinking about other guys.

6. Don't bring up old boyfriends unless he asks. Or unless you're casually trying to set guidelines i.e "My ex boyfriend always did ------- and it drove me crazy!" But do that in moderation!!

7. Be in the moment, don't worry about things you have to do when you get home, or dream about being somewhere else. Be there with him.

8. A direct question is better that any test you might try out to find his limits.

9. Don't be offended by anything he might do or say, his goal is to impress you, if he offends you it was unintentional. Let him know you were offended but don't get upset about it, his mind was in the right place.

10. Only kiss him if the moment feels right. Don't kiss him just because he asked you to, kiss him because the magic of the moment drove you to do so. Plus if you deny it a few times first, it will make it all that much better for him when you finally do kiss him. Most likely, he won't even ask you. . . it's up to you to do what you think is best at that time.

11. DON'T HAVE SEX with him until AFTER marriage. You NEED 100% committment from him before you give him that! That's just the way I grew up. I don't really expect everyone to heed this rule, but I'm telling you anyways.

I could post the rules for guys too, but seeing as how there's only about three or four of us on this site, it may be a little pointless. lol

By: J.R. Patton a.k.a. Jimenem

[fluffy]

lol..........alternately- keep an open mind, be yourself, be honest but hold a little back (mystery is the key ) don´t give away the goods too soon......and smile and laugh a lot...........just have fun.....

fluffy

[jimliker]

Also one more important thing..."Listen to ur heart & not to ur mind coz ur heart has a mind of its own. If u listen to ur heart it will help u deal with love emotionally which is always right. But if u listen to ur mind it will just make u deal with love with selfishness & lust coz ur mind usually thinks with the Line 'oh what the heck...'"

[Jimenem]

lol..........alternately- keep an open mind, be yourself, be honest but hold a little back (mystery is the key ) don´t give away the goods too soon......and smile and laugh a lot...........just have fun.....

fluffy

Oh yeah when I say be honest and don't lie, I don't mean spill your guts. I mean whatever you do feel comfortable telling him, make sure it's the truth. Smiling and laughter is also helpful, but that should come naturally, there shouldn't be a rule to tell you to do that. If he doesn't make you smile and laugh. . . find another man. lol

[Michele Hernandez]

If you guys figure out the rules, will you let me know....lol....I have no idea about any of this...play it as it goes would be for me, but would that work?

I have one idea, don't have too many expectations, that way you won't be let down if your expectations aren't fulfilled, although I'm not sure THAT works either....

Michele

[Happygal]

I don't know if I ever want to date. I don't really see a use for men. (Jim doesn't count because he's not a man. He's a GOD)

[Michele Hernandez]

I'm sure you're a very smart girl.....lol

[Happygal]

Why thank you!

[Michele Hernandez]

You're welcome

[fluffy]

Jim doesn't count because he's not a man. He's a GOD

..........lol..........he sure is..........

fluffy

[MandyCarrey]

Cool thanks for those thats good advice. Im utterly useless at relationships!!! I have a mate that ive liked for years! and we have dated on and off but that was a while back now.... but half the time he has been an absolute jerk and i have been mad at him but no matter how much i try i can not stop likeing him.. its like as soon as i seee him i fall head over heals.. its nuts lol!.. i think about him 247 its driving me mad!! lol what do you do when this happens... he is not interested in me i dont think.. and im extremely shy in asking him if he is.. help lol. im useless!!!

[Jimenem]

Eww. . . harsh situation, the best advice there is for that is to let him go. If he's obviously NOT interested, then move on, there are not only OTHER fish in the sea, but BETTER fish in the sea, maybe you can find one that you won't get mad at so often.
But if you MUST be with him, if you've got it THAT bad, ask yourself. . . "what would I do for a chance to be with him?" Would it be worth it to risk humiliation (to a VERY small degree), by asking him how he feels about you? C'mon, if he's worth it, GO FOR IT! Or else you'll spend the rest of your life wondering "what if?", unless ofcourse you DO find that better fish, then you'll be thanking youself. You're in quite a predicament, all you need to do is make a choice. Good Luck

[Michele Hernandez]

You know what really bothers guys like that, when you show that you've lost interest, but you have to be sincere and stick to it. I know it's hard. I know me personally, I just don't care anymore. If you can take responsibility for your own feelings, no one can hurt you. Because your feelings come from inside you, and only you can make you happy. Other people are there for companionship, etc, but I think you have to love yourself first of all and most of all.