I was.. watching the news...

[quirky]

..there's a flood in Austin Texas and California's on fire again. See, what we need are really big hoses connecting all the flood and or draught-ridden states. Maybe they could be underground. Then...say California needs water. They just turn on the Texas spigot and there you have it...Texas gets drained and California puts out their fires.

[carreyd away]

You should run for office! That's a brilliant idea!

The problem with the west is that it's esentially desert... we have drought, terrential rains then subsiquent mudslides. The terrain is constantly changing, then developers build on top of the shifting sands and add to the problem. Never a dull moment here...

[quirky]

You should run for office! That's a brilliant idea!

Thank you. I would be president. My cabinet would be made up entirely of muppets. I think Kermit the Frog as secretary of state would be just great. Whenever tensions with N Korea or Iran get too bad, he would fly over on a state visit and sing "The Rainbow Connection" to whoever is in charge and their hearts would melt and they would love us again. I think Animal would make a great UN Envoy. The White House chef? Who else?
"bork,bork, bork!"

Instead of a press secretary, I would have a gong that would be banged by a gong banger after every stupid question. Or...just questions I don't want to answer. Like "what's your exit strategy?" BOING!!! Maybe the gong banger would be dressed like a Buddhist monk. That'll throw em for a loop.

Peeps would be my Vice President. At least he doesn't hunt. And he puts me into my place by crapping on me all the time. And he would hold press conferences where he would simply hop/fly from shoulder to shoulder crapping on reporters.

I'm single...so there's no "hold the relationship together" bullcrap to wade through. No kids to worry about being arrested or making rude gestures.
It's a plan!

[carreyd away]

I think Dr Bunson Honeydew would make an excellent choice for Surgeon General.

...I'm just sayin'

[quirky]

I think Dr Bunson Honeydew would make an excellent choice for Surgeon General.

...I'm just sayin'

You are SOOOOOOOOooooo right! Genius! My people are contacting Bunson, or should I say, Mr Honeydew as we speak!

I hear he's negotiating to bring Beaker on board, too!

*gets vaudevillianesque look of deep in thought*

"Mr er Mr spokesperson , what are the administration's aims to reduce the deficit? "

Beaker beaker!

"How has the government prepared itself for another major catastrophe along the same likes as Katrina?"

Beaker beaker!

What about escalating gas prices?

Beaker beaker!