The Hired Bodyguard coming soon...
August 15 , 1994
There's a woman crying . " Daddy no - don't leave me . " She is standing
over his casket with tears running down her face .
A girl behind her tells Alicia that all was going to be alright .
" I am sorry mam' but I have to close the casket . " The man closes the
casket .
September 10 , 1994
Alicia is coming home from a day at work to find her stepmother laying
on the ground . " Victoria ... Victoria ... " , said Alicia as she turned her
stepmother around . Alicia saw her stepmothers face covered in blood .
Septermber 21 , 1994
" You know what Alicia , do you know how much you are worth right n
now " ,said Sandra ( a friend of Alicia ) .
" Sandra , I am so scared for my life . Daddy tragically died and my
stepmom was killed in this house and I am next " , shouted Alicia . " I
need some protection . "
" Alicia - just remember how important you are at this moment . You are
as important as the president " , says Sandra laughing .
" This really is not funny . I have to get some protection . See you
later . " Alicia hangs up the phone . Alicia begins to think how she was
going to go about hiring a man to protect her . " Yes - a bodyguard .
That's what I need . Cool - tomorrow I'll place an add in the newspaper . "
September 22 , 1994
( 8:oo am )
There is a man sipping his coffee tapping on his desk with a pencil ,
reading the newspaper . He jumps up . " Wow ... look Todd - a lady needs
protection . "
Todd ( his partner/friend ) laughs . " Are you kidding me - you save
anyone . " He laughs once more . " That's to hilarious . "
" What do you mean ... I can certainly save my behind and that is good .
That means a whole lot . " Bill laughed at himself .
" Bill you have all that you dreamed of . You have a great job as an
actor . Why in hecks name do you need a less paying job like that . "
Todd scratched his head .
Bill upset stands up from his chair and grabbed the newspaper . To you
the pay sucks , but I think about all the positive things this career move
will give me " , smiles Bill .
" sheesh Bill , I thought this job is all that you wanted ; the fame ; the
millions of cash ; the honeys ; the babes ... "
" Okay , I get it Todd . I really think this oppertunity will get me far . "
Todd laughs . " I don't know why this job is exciting to you - don't you
like what you are doing ?
" Bill steps out of the office and says pointing , " don't you get it Todd -
I'd be a " HERO " and what a feeling that would be " .
Bill then turns around and starts walking only to bump into a desk .
" You're an idiot ! " Whispers Todd .
Bah hum bug!!!!
September 22 , 1994
( 8:45 am )
Bill decides to call the add . He walks into a coffee shop . As he is
walking inside he is talking to himself . " Wow this job takes guts , I have
to give it a try . " Bill is staring at the newspaper as he calls for the
waitress .
" Hi sir and what can I do for you ? "
" An iced tea and your opinion . " Grins Bill .
" Sure sir . "
" I know you know I am someone famous and what I am about to ask
you may shock you but - do you think I can be a great hero ? "
The lady grins . " Sure , haven't you been many heroes in your
lifetime ? "
" No , I am not talking about my acting ... I mean in real life . "
" Hmm " , says kim ( the waitress ) , " I mean , I don't really know you
in life and I am assuming you are wealthy . What type of heroe are you
talking about ? " Grins Kim .
" Well , I was thinking about a bodyguard position . "
" Pft , I mean - wow , you are going to leave a good paying job for
something so little like that . Are you okay sir ? "
" Okay - never mind just go grab me my iced tea " , says Bill sadly .
" Wow , no one is taking me seriously , that's really a bad sign this job
move is not cool " , he says to himself .
" Here you go sir " , says Kim turning around only to turn back
around , " oh and by the way , good luck with that job , hope the pay is
good " . She laughs as she is walking away .
" Oh brother . I guess no one is seeing the positive side of this , but what
the heck - I am going with my gut . " He laughs . Bill goes to sip from the
straw and the straw ends up going up his nose . " Ouch . That hurt . " He l
laughs . Bill's ice tea tiped over and spilled all over the table . Weting the
newspaper . " Crap ... no , no." Bill quickly picks up the newspaper and
starts shaking it around , rubbing it all over his body .
People in the coffee shop started looking at him weird .
" Are you okay sir ? "
" No , I'm okay! Can't you see what I'm doing " , screamed Bill .
An old lady responded by saying , " yeah , you look like you want to
have sex with the darn newspaper " .
" What are you a sicko " , shouted Bill to the old lady .
" Hmm ! " The lady turned her head around .
Bill runs out of the coffee shop screaming . " Help me , someone
please . "
A police car pulls up to Bill .
Bill runs to the cruiser . " Please help me ... please . "
Sir step away from the vehicle and tell us what heppened " , says one of
the officer as he opens the door and steps out .
Bill looks at the officer with a serious face he says , " do you have a
pen ? "
" What the ... "
The officer outside of his patrol looks at his partner inside the cruiser and
say , " this guy is going in ... what do you think ? "
Carl ( the officer inside the cruiser ) takes a peak at Bill .
Bill is still rubbing the newspaper on his private part .
" Yeah - let's take him in! "
Bill dropped to his knees . " Please officer , all I want is a pen - please . "
"Okay , I'm going to give you a pen but you are going in for absructing
peace . " The officer hands Bill a pen .
Bill writes the number on his palm . As they are cuffing him he looks up
at the sky . " I have a heroe job " , he says to himself smiling .
" Can you believe this guy - he's smiling away knowing he is going to the
slammer " ,says Carl to his partner .
( 8:45 am )
Bill decides to call the add . He walks into a coffee shop . As he is
walking inside he is talking to himself . " Wow this job takes guts , I have
to give it a try . " Bill is staring at the newspaper as he calls for the
waitress .
" Hi sir and what can I do for you ? "
" An iced tea and your opinion . " Grins Bill .
" Sure sir . "
" I know you know I am someone famous and what I am about to ask
you may shock you but - do you think I can be a great hero ? "
The lady grins . " Sure , haven't you been many heroes in your
lifetime ? "
" No , I am not talking about my acting ... I mean in real life . "
" Hmm " , says kim ( the waitress ) , " I mean , I don't really know you
in life and I am assuming you are wealthy . What type of heroe are you
talking about ? " Grins Kim .
" Well , I was thinking about a bodyguard position . "
" Pft , I mean - wow , you are going to leave a good paying job for
something so little like that . Are you okay sir ? "
" Okay - never mind just go grab me my iced tea " , says Bill sadly .
" Wow , no one is taking me seriously , that's really a bad sign this job
move is not cool " , he says to himself .
" Here you go sir " , says Kim turning around only to turn back
around , " oh and by the way , good luck with that job , hope the pay is
good " . She laughs as she is walking away .
" Oh brother . I guess no one is seeing the positive side of this , but what
the heck - I am going with my gut . " He laughs . Bill goes to sip from the
straw and the straw ends up going up his nose . " Ouch . That hurt . " He l
laughs . Bill's ice tea tiped over and spilled all over the table . Weting the
newspaper . " Crap ... no , no." Bill quickly picks up the newspaper and
starts shaking it around , rubbing it all over his body .
People in the coffee shop started looking at him weird .
" Are you okay sir ? "
" No , I'm okay! Can't you see what I'm doing " , screamed Bill .
An old lady responded by saying , " yeah , you look like you want to
have sex with the darn newspaper " .
" What are you a sicko " , shouted Bill to the old lady .
" Hmm ! " The lady turned her head around .
Bill runs out of the coffee shop screaming . " Help me , someone
please . "
A police car pulls up to Bill .
Bill runs to the cruiser . " Please help me ... please . "
Sir step away from the vehicle and tell us what heppened " , says one of
the officer as he opens the door and steps out .
Bill looks at the officer with a serious face he says , " do you have a
pen ? "
" What the ... "
The officer outside of his patrol looks at his partner inside the cruiser and
say , " this guy is going in ... what do you think ? "
Carl ( the officer inside the cruiser ) takes a peak at Bill .
Bill is still rubbing the newspaper on his private part .
" Yeah - let's take him in! "
Bill dropped to his knees . " Please officer , all I want is a pen - please . "
"Okay , I'm going to give you a pen but you are going in for absructing
peace . " The officer hands Bill a pen .
Bill writes the number on his palm . As they are cuffing him he looks up
at the sky . " I have a heroe job " , he says to himself smiling .
" Can you believe this guy - he's smiling away knowing he is going to the
slammer " ,says Carl to his partner .
Bah hum bug!!!!
September 22 , 1994
( 9:30 am )
" Hurry up pal , you only have 5 minutes to call someone that cares . "
Laughed Carl .
" Thanx so much" , replied Bill .
The phone rings at Alicia's home . She had not been out since her
stepmother was strangely killed . She was now calling herself Rose . She
also had changed her phone number and only the add had it listed . She
picks up the phone. " Hello . "
Bill cleared his throat . " Hi . Hello . I am trying to reach someone who
had an add out about being a bodyguard , are they available ? " Bill
closed his eyes .
" Yes , that would be me . Are you looking for a job ? "
" I do but can you get me out of jail ... I don't want my publicist to know
I'm here .
" What ... ? You will be hired to watch me not to end up in jail " , said
Alicia (aka Rose ) . " I don't think you qualify . " Rose went to hang up
the phone .
" Wait ... don't hang up . I do qualify . I have a blackbelt in my closet .
I'm an avid reader of " How to spot a lunatic trilogy " . Trust me - I
qualify . " Bill closed his eyes then says , " I am qualified . "
Rose taps the side of her lip with her index finger and says , " well I am
going to put you on a first warning notice . No seconds nor third . First
strike you are out . Is that understood ? "
" Of course it is ... it's great , cause I know I am an expert . " Laughs
Bill .
Alicia hung up the phone .
" Yes " , said Bill excited . " Can I get another call ? "
" No pal . One call per person - right ? Whatever ! Let's bring you back to
your cell " , said Carl .
Walking Bill to his cell Carl shoved him . The officer opened the cell for
Bill .
Bill walks in . " You are lucky officer that I am going to be a heroe . "
Laughed Bill .
" Really ? For what planet ? " Laughed Carl . He closed the cell . " The
only thingyou can save - doesn't exits . Carl walks away .
" What jerk he is . " Bill sat down patiently inside the cell waiting for Rose
to arrive .
The doors open at the precinct . A young beautyful girl walks in . Her hair
blowing away as she took a step closer to the precincts information desk .
All theofficer stared with jaws open at Rose .
Rose took of her sunglasses and placed them on her head holding her
hair back ." Hi . Yes ... there's a citizen being held here for some reason
that shouldn't be so .I am his lawyer and am here to post bail for him .
His name is ... hmm ... came in recently and ... " , says Rose tapping her
lips with her finger .
Carl stood up . " oh , you mean Bill . Yes he is here . Being held for
to much hitting the cheese , tossing the curly ... freezing the tooth ... "
" What in names are you talking about " , asked Rose confused .
Carl came closer to Rose . " Lady he is high as the clouds above your
head . When we found him he was screaming for someone to help him . "
LaughsCarl .
Carl's partner was laughing to .
" Yeah he needed help because he didn't have a pen . "
" What " , asked Rose . " You are holding him in for that ? "
" We believe his druged up mam' " , replied Carl .
" Oh , great . How much is it sir to get him out ? "
Carl began walking away . " He'll tell you . Be back - going to get your
nutty client . Carl goes to get Bill . " Bill , time to go , but I know you will
be back . All famous stars always come back . " Laughed Carl .
( 9:30 am )
" Hurry up pal , you only have 5 minutes to call someone that cares . "
Laughed Carl .
" Thanx so much" , replied Bill .
The phone rings at Alicia's home . She had not been out since her
stepmother was strangely killed . She was now calling herself Rose . She
also had changed her phone number and only the add had it listed . She
picks up the phone. " Hello . "
Bill cleared his throat . " Hi . Hello . I am trying to reach someone who
had an add out about being a bodyguard , are they available ? " Bill
closed his eyes .
" Yes , that would be me . Are you looking for a job ? "
" I do but can you get me out of jail ... I don't want my publicist to know
I'm here .
" What ... ? You will be hired to watch me not to end up in jail " , said
Alicia (aka Rose ) . " I don't think you qualify . " Rose went to hang up
the phone .
" Wait ... don't hang up . I do qualify . I have a blackbelt in my closet .
I'm an avid reader of " How to spot a lunatic trilogy " . Trust me - I
qualify . " Bill closed his eyes then says , " I am qualified . "
Rose taps the side of her lip with her index finger and says , " well I am
going to put you on a first warning notice . No seconds nor third . First
strike you are out . Is that understood ? "
" Of course it is ... it's great , cause I know I am an expert . " Laughs
Bill .
Alicia hung up the phone .
" Yes " , said Bill excited . " Can I get another call ? "
" No pal . One call per person - right ? Whatever ! Let's bring you back to
your cell " , said Carl .
Walking Bill to his cell Carl shoved him . The officer opened the cell for
Bill .
Bill walks in . " You are lucky officer that I am going to be a heroe . "
Laughed Bill .
" Really ? For what planet ? " Laughed Carl . He closed the cell . " The
only thingyou can save - doesn't exits . Carl walks away .
" What jerk he is . " Bill sat down patiently inside the cell waiting for Rose
to arrive .
The doors open at the precinct . A young beautyful girl walks in . Her hair
blowing away as she took a step closer to the precincts information desk .
All theofficer stared with jaws open at Rose .
Rose took of her sunglasses and placed them on her head holding her
hair back ." Hi . Yes ... there's a citizen being held here for some reason
that shouldn't be so .I am his lawyer and am here to post bail for him .
His name is ... hmm ... came in recently and ... " , says Rose tapping her
lips with her finger .
Carl stood up . " oh , you mean Bill . Yes he is here . Being held for
to much hitting the cheese , tossing the curly ... freezing the tooth ... "
" What in names are you talking about " , asked Rose confused .
Carl came closer to Rose . " Lady he is high as the clouds above your
head . When we found him he was screaming for someone to help him . "
LaughsCarl .
Carl's partner was laughing to .
" Yeah he needed help because he didn't have a pen . "
" What " , asked Rose . " You are holding him in for that ? "
" We believe his druged up mam' " , replied Carl .
" Oh , great . How much is it sir to get him out ? "
Carl began walking away . " He'll tell you . Be back - going to get your
nutty client . Carl goes to get Bill . " Bill , time to go , but I know you will
be back . All famous stars always come back . " Laughed Carl .
Bah hum bug!!!!










