Farting..... sign up for the JCO Fart appreciation Society

[fluffy]

We all do it....... some are noisy, some are silent and deadly, blokes love them, girls 'exude', We get our heads shoved under the duvet, and farting comps are funny.
So what are your feelings on farting?....Any funny stories to share about your tootles?? Do girls fart less than blokes or are we more crafty getting them out there?......

so sign up here for the JCO fart appreciation society.........all those who are proud to admit they toot too......let's unite in windy appreciation of our food......

cut and paste the following..........

my name is......................................and i think Farting is funny!!

Let us know your stories/feelings on Flatulence

fluffy

[fluffy]

lol.......a fart joke for you........lol.......and don't feel guilty for thinking farts are funny.....classy folk need to toot too.....lol....even the queen will toot....
................................................................................................

A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents.

He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure.

Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if anyone notices they will think that the dog did it.

He farts, and the woman yells, "Spot, get down from there."

The guy thinks, "Great, they think the dog did it." He releases another fart, and the woman again yells for the dog to get down.

This goes on for a couple more farts. Finally the woman yells, "Dammit Spot, get down before he shits on you."



fluffy

[Mia]

Funny story Nicky.
My grandmother farts all of the time and laughs about it...
especially if she knows that someone heard her fart.
She says that her farts smell like roses (that's a big lie, trust me)
and she bought a magnet at Spencers that says, "Support farting"
on a ribbon. I think she's crazy, but hilarious...can't help it.

[fluffy]

i think someone posted this here already........if so you can have full credit..........lol......it's a great proverb.......



fluffy

[cotton]

Celebrity Gas
Have you ever noticed that dogs often bear a striking resemblance to their owners? Similarly, farts often bring a certain person to mind. Read on, and I think you'll get the picture. Or at least a whiff of the picture.

The Bill Clinton Fart:
Deny, deny DENY!

The Monica Lewinsky Fart:
A fart occurs. There is a denial, accusations, and a big investigation. Later it is revealed that evidence has been left behind, undeniably implicating the person who really farted, and embarrassing those who participated in the cover-up.

The OJ Simpson Fart:
A double-fart occurs, and it's a very ugly scene. Evidence is not only found at the scene, but in in the underwear of the perpetrator, who claims that those who investigated the fart have planted the evidence. The farter vows to search and find the real farter to show that he is innocent, but all leads point back to the originally accused farter, with the evidence in his pants.

The Don King Fart:
The farter is nearly knocked out by his own fart -- and is left with the Don King hairdo and wide-eyed look.

The Dr. Laura Fart:
For the sake of your children, you left the room to fart. When you returned, you explained to them that you are sorry you left for a moment, but it was the responsible thing to do to protect their well-being.

The Jack Kevorkian Fart:
You emit a series of fart, each growing louder and more painful than the last. You begin to pray that the next one will be you last.

The Sadam Hussain Fart:
You strongly suspect that biological warfare has begun, and call for United Nations inspectors... and CNN.

The Truman Show Fart:
You get the strange feeling that although you are alone, someone may be watching. When you feel a fart coming, you decide to give them an audio/visual display that they won't forget.

The Dennis Rodman Fart:
Something's green, and you know it really shouldn't be.


Does this get me in the group Fluffs???

[jimlover]

hehehehehe.lol

[fluffy]

i guess i should sign up...........lol


my name is...........Fluffy...........................and i think Farting is funny

fluffy

[Happygal]

This so fuuny. Now it's my turn to sign up!

My name is..........Happygal.............and I think farting is funny!!!

I'm not afraid to admit that I fart! But I do try to be polite in public.

[fluffy]

lol..........good for you........that's the best way to be......lol.........i don't tootle like a docker........lol.......maintain a dignified air at all times....

fluffy

[jimliker]

well farting is something gross but u cannot live without it too coz its a natural process. If u have it , it gives u embarassment coz its noisy & it smells really bad. But if u dont have it, u can get GAS in ur stomach which is not good for ur health & it makes u miserable!

[MandyCarrey]

my name is...........MandyCarrey...........................and i think Farting is funny!

LOL even though it is a grose you cant help it... and i am one to laugh i can restrain myself from laughing though if needed hee-hee.
My brother was sitting next to me on the couch the other day and i was sitting next to him with my feet up. he decided he would fart on my foot. even though i slapped him and said he was gorse i was laughing to death at the same time.
I love when elderly people fart (grandparents i mean) its so funny coz like my nan if she acidently lets one out and you hear shes like.. omg! its funny coz she gets all embaressed bless her heart.. she laughs too though hee-hee.

[Canadian Jayne]

My hubby toots at the table, when we are eating, I usually say...
ewwwwwwwww excuse yourself.
Mine are often SBD-Silent but deadly.
On occasion loud, I have decifered it down to certain foods though.
Garlic ooooooooooso bad, but I really like garlic so I only eat it on the
weekends.

[cotton]

hehehe


Take the fart challange!

http://www.fartgreetings.com/quiz.asp

I only got 40% which means I need to go back to fart school.lol

[Jimmie]

yeah, so.....i'm just gonna take a wild guess, and say that this thread is made up of mostly guys.....right?? yeah. i thought so.

[fluffy]

lmao........nope.......heheheheh.......i think everyone is female......lol
hey i'm only 40% too..........i need to go to fart school too.....i think Jim should be the honourary headmaster there.......lol....

check out make a potato head fart.......lol

http://www.fartgreetings.com/potatofart.asp

fluffy