My Dad's on life support, how do I help my mom?

wonderbunny · Post by **wonderbunny** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 6:16 pm

Our home is so painful right now. My dad is on life support and not able to speak. Each day, for nine months have been riddle with "words can't describe it" Each family member deals with this stuff differently. Coupled with mounting medicals bills... God Almighty, we need help.

jimliker · Post by **jimliker** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 6:23 pm

Its really sad to hear that...i wish everything goes well...keep the faith.

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 6:24 pm

I'm so sorry wonderbunny.

Do you have siblings? If so, tread gently, because at times like these...tempers can flare in misdirected places.

I HAVE been in your position....actually...with BOTH parents.

All you really have is that bit of hope you can convince yourself exists.

You don't know the future....all you can do is love each other in the now.

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 6:39 pm

I thought of a couple more things in the shower.

Make sure YOU are eating and sleeping enough.

DEMAND answers from the doctors....if you have questions. I just kept an "I'm ok...don't want to be a bother" expression on my face when I should have been nailing the doc to the wall for information instead of wondering. As a result, my mom has been in the hospital in CA twice since then once for a seizure and another time, left facial droop which thankfully turned out to be Bell's palsy. I had to find out things by phone. Learn a few medical terms, or at least know what the person is suffering from. When they took my mom in for the weakness I called and her nurse said, "Can't give info." I said, "is her left sided weakness (aphasia - I think) face only? Is there any ataxia??

Boom - the nurse told me everything I wanted to know.

Ask specific questions, a lot of times hospital staff speaks in generalities.

I hope this resolves for you soon. I said a prayer for you today.

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 7:07 pm

I guess you really wanted to know, how to help your mom. Keep yourself healthy. Make sure you aren't postponing feelings. Because, trust me when I say, you need some time for just you. Have the gigantic meltdown that you want to have...if you don't, it'll sneak up on you later.

If you have other brothers and sisters.....maybe they should help with mom. Don't make it your obligation to shoulder all her pain if there are others willing to help you.

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 7:58 pm

p.s. - If I could live my life over, I'd take my own advice.

mav · Post by **mav** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 8:38 pm

Sorry to hear that wonderbunny

Yeah, you need to take care of yourself.
Your being there IS a support for your mom. I'll pray for strength and peace to you and your family.
-

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 8:40 pm

gee..........i'm sorry to hear that......

stay strong.......

fluffy

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:02 pm

As the old saying goes: What doesn't kill you...sure as hell should have.

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:03 pm

.................lol...gee that's optimistic..........lol......

fluffy

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:06 pm

fluffy wrote: .................lol...gee that's optimistic..........lol......

fluffy

When you're me...it's just $@%^# hysterical.

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:07 pm

glad you can laugh at yourself Quirks........it's good medicine.....

fluffy

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:31 pm

It IS. I have been to the place of no laughter. Sometimes I'm scared I'll go again.

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:33 pm

i guess that makes Jim Number 1 Doctor..........

.......

fluffy

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:35 pm

Oh, that's perfect. My best friend Tony played doctor with every girl in the neighborhood EXCEPT me. I actually got to ask him why.

"Because you were my FRIEND."