I had skipped breakfast, so I was starving, but we were seated immediately and pretty soon this male waiter who's nametag says, "Jim" (I'm NOT making this up) tentatively approaches us and says..."Hi, I'm Jim...and Stephanie's really your waitress and I'm just a trainee here...but she sent me over to see if I could maybe get you an appetizer...or a drink? Shots?" I say, "I think grandma could use a shot, but she'd never down it in one...so just water thanks."
"With lemon?"
"Yes, that would be nice."
So...off goes Jim...and he comes back with the water and says (very sweetly), "So do you need a little more time, or did you come in knowing exactly what you want to order?"
"Just a few minutes maybe."
At this point, I notice that Stephanie is kind of treating him brusquely, she strikes me as a bit of a virago and I wonder if she's just a harsh trainer, or she's peeved because she got stuck with the new guy for the day.
Grandma can't find stir fry on the menu. They've changed it to something like, " Terriyaki bowl" and so she orders it and I get the steak.
Jim says, "How would you like that cooked?"
"Rare, please."
OK...the whole Applebee's experience becomes surreal at this point. I'm already completely enamored with the new guy because he's so nervously endearing and he says, "The code requires me to advise you that steak should be cooked to at least (I start tuning out because I am so stunned that I'm getting the rare steak advisory notice) ...
This is me looking at Jim:
A laugh is just bubbling at the bottom of my throat. Because I've NEVER had this said at Applebee's before...and I say, "When someone comes in and asks to sit in the smoking section...do you have to issue a similar warning?" By now I am seriously laughing.
Jim says, "'No, because it's on the side of the pack. The only thing on the steak is grill marks."
I laugh harder, "I'll bet the little warning will be stamped on the steaks soon."
So...Jim does a lovely job taking the order and the meal is good. I have another giggle when grandma comments about my garlic mashed potatoes. Mashed with the skin on and she says, "I hate when they are too lazy to peel the potatoes." I say, "All the nutrition is in the skin..." and we are momentarily distracted when harridan trainer asks Jim audibly if he's checked on us yet. I assure her everything's fine and he's done a great job.
Finally, when he brought the bill I said, "If you'll humor me for a second. I just have to ask. How do you eat YOUR steaks?"
He looks down at his feet for a second and says, "Rare."
I said, "I knew it! A good vet could save it, right?"
I left a really big tip, but Stephanie
came and got the money. I hope she shared.
) No one who has ever lost a parent can watch that scene without feeling the sadness and internally screaming, "Don't tell him you're not Luke!"
), who had been next to me waiting, pounced on the mouse---head comes up and there, stuck to his poor bearded face is the entire thing--glue trap, mouse and all!!! I was terrified that the mouse would bite him so I RIPPED the glue trap off his face!!!!! 
lol
