Love Advice, Please

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Sat Aug 05, 2006 4:04 am

I'll ask my angels to help.

The already HAVE...you just can't feel it.

Sometimes a lesson is right in front of our face...and still we want to believe that happiness is automatic.

Filomena · Post by **Filomena** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 1:23 pm

Thanks for your help everyone. Everything you say is true, but of course, living like this makes it harder to be objective, and understand what the right thing is to do.

It's hard, because I never expected to fall in love. I know David loves me, but he has issues that he himself has to deal with. Primarily, his inability to deal with reality. I hate being in love, because your heart intervenes, and you just can't function properly.

I'm actually going to "coast" right now, and when the right opportunity presents itself, I'll be able to leave. It's happened before, so I know it will happen again. Living with a compulsive gambler means living on a roller coaster. Right now, he's working and he's on top of the world. But I know from past experience that what goes up, will come down. As soon as he plummets to the ground again, I'll be able to leave. I need a justifiable reason, (that sounds lame, doesn't it? but you need to live it to understand), and that way, he won't be able to stop me.

I've tried to leave 7 times before, and it always failed. Next time, it will work bc I'm going to spend the time to plan it right. No impulsive packing my bags or trying to reason with him.

I'll keep you all posted.

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 1:30 pm

atta girl Fily.........get a contingency plan in place so you have options and don't feel totally trapped............and grow in strength and purpose.........you deserve all the happines in the world.......and when you're ready you will go and get it!...........

fluffy

shamaho · Post by **shamaho** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 6:12 pm

wow....it really sounds like someone has seen the light, is thinking clearly and planning ahead, knowing the same pattern of behavior will repeat itself.....sounds kind of like me when I finally walked out of my house for the last time in late June 2005.....and I've never looked back or regretted it for one minute. Left behind the house, the husband, the kids, and the dog....because I knew it was the right decision. Remember, folks: doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome is the definition of INSANITY...!!

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Tue Aug 08, 2006 7:26 pm

y'see, you're not alone Fily..............your JCO family is here to help

fluffy

Prince · Post by **Prince** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 2:46 pm

divorcing is difficult process, speccialy if husband dont give you divorce.
Have you seen film with Jennifer Aniston "Good girl"? May be you try to run thogether your lover.It would be very romantic to run together lover!

shamaho · Post by **shamaho** » Sun Aug 13, 2006 4:31 pm

in 'the good girl' the boyfriend ends up dead....not good.

Prince · Post by **Prince** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 6:04 am

I said for example. I think her(Fiona s) boyfriend is proud, angree,cruel and misunderstanding egoist. For example, they could run and live together, and divorce she can draw up later, because divorce is difficult and long process, speccialy, when ex-husband dont want to give divorce.

Filomena · Post by **Filomena** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 1:47 pm

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I needed to vent, because no one knows about my situation. So I'm keeping everything inside. It's good knowing I'm not alone. This is what I love about being anonnymous.

Hmmmm, in Good Girl the lover ends up dead???? Interesting, that.

shamaho · Post by **shamaho** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 2:49 pm

the boyfriend in the 'good girl' was in a standoff with the cops I think and they shot him....weird, because a standoff happened over the weekend down here. there was an exchange of gunfire but no one was hurt, thankfully. people are effing nuts.

Prince · Post by **Prince** » Mon Aug 14, 2006 5:23 pm

Filomena! Your boyfriend is cruel, proud ,selfish COWARD!
You must despise him, because he is COWARD and TRAITOR!
Leave him!
Filomena! Did you read russian roman "Anna Karenina"?May be you saw film "Anna Karenina"? You must get that, then you will understand how brave can be people, when they love each other.Here in Russia many brave people, thats why we won many wars and revolution.Leave you coward-boyfriend!

Filomena · Post by **Filomena** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 1:36 pm

Your boyfriend is cruel, proud ,selfish COWARD!

One day, he's going to have to respond to these words. I wonder what he'll say to defend himself?

The problem is that my heart and my head aren't always in agreement with what I should do. My head says, LEAVE! But my heart says, I have to make him understand. This feeling is more powerful than anything.

Love is a complicated thing. It's not easy, but in the end, if you persevere, it's worth it.

I never read the book, or saw the film, Anna Karenina. I'm going to check it out -- thanks for that, Prince.

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 7:48 pm

stay strong Fily.............remember we're here for you........

fluffy

Niobe · Post by **Niobe** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 10:26 pm

I know Anna Karenina...she killed herself at the end!

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Fri Aug 18, 2006 10:42 pm

ooohhh.............best not read that one then.........

fluffy