Jims arms and hands fanclub

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 12:39 pm

I'm SURE will never hurt me and the one who's able to lasso my soul.

i don't mean to rain on your parade but 'the One' is the one who will be able to hurt you..............they will be the one who expose your vulnerabilities and no relationship is perfect.......Love means pain...it goes with the territory............it's loving someone enough to allow yourself to be so vulnerable which differentiates an affair from a relationship...

i'm a self confessed masochist though...lol........

fluffy

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 6:20 pm

I'll have to disagree with you fluffs....although I understand what you're saying...

No more pain.

Jimenem · Post by **Jimenem** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 6:55 pm

Your really just gonna close yourself off like that? I understand that you don't wanna take the risk of getting hurt, but depriving another person from getting to know the real Jill will only leave you by yourself. Risks need to be taken! It's part of living life.
Whatever you decide to do with your life is your choice. . .just take it easy on yourself

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Wed Dec 21, 2005 8:55 pm

No, I'm not going to close myself off. I'm just going to be very very careful before I enter a relationship.

babygirl_lace · Post by **babygirl_lace** » Thu Dec 22, 2005 11:46 pm

careful is one thing...but expecting no pain in a relationship is another. I am 23 and have been hurt a few times...i am currently in a relationship that will mark five years in march...i would go to hell and back for this man...he does step on my toes and make me cry once in awhile and i am sure i have done the same...but what is love if there is no war at some point...its all the things worth fighting for. be careful who chose, be careful how fast you let yourself go...but never expect there to be any more pain...pain is a part of life, you can lessen it, but you can never make it stop completely...

thats my opinion though.

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 12:10 am

I'm 35 and have reason to be careful.

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 1:03 am

I'm just chuckling a little at the statement, "Pain is a part of life."

I know this...oh, beeeelieve me I know this.

But I don't think one should be as eager to enter a relationship thinking pain's just a part of that.

Neither of my grandmothers ever said, "..I love him MOST when he hurts me.

Tell me that's another generation....I don't care. I don't neccessarily
LIKE the way we keep modifying ...

And divorcing.....well I'm consistently told I'm lucky I'm not married, because at least I'm not divorced.

So I do date. I have had relationships in the past.....I could probably go out in a low cut shirt and hook myself a doctor or a lawyer...but I'm waiting for something special.

My grandparents had it.

My parents ultimately learned it.

But the world's too cruel sometimes to not be with someone who makes you a better person and has respect and love for you, too.

Done with soap box.

babygirl_lace · Post by **babygirl_lace** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 8:36 pm

35 or 23 everyone has reasons to be CAREFUL...

I wasn't saying that you had to live by it...I certainly don't. You can laugh at the statement that pain is a part of life, but I am not lying and I bet a few people would probably agree. Pain IS a part of life..we were born to feel, and pain is something EVERYONE feels weather intended or not.
The relationship I have right now was never intended to be there to cause pain...hell when it started it was complete and utter happiness and now we are expecting a baby...more happiness. but we have had our share of pain as well... hurting each other, not intentionally but it happens and almost breaking up and at one point actually doing so, that all causes pain my friend. I thought as I read your statements that maybe I was the one being naive but if you think that pain is NOT a part of life and that you find any in a relationship, then my dear, I m not the one being naieve.

babygirl_lace · Post by **babygirl_lace** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 8:54 pm

Let me rephrase that last statment ...calling you naive was not what I meant I am not a mean person...Nobody wants pain, nobody wants to be thinking 'oh I am going into a relationship and there is going be so much pain!' everyone wants to think there will be none...but all I am saying is that it is something you have to realize is a part of life...I dont know about you, but sometimes your heart speaks up before the flags in your head can say HEY STUPID WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? I know, I am in that kind of a relationship now.. I never entered the relationship going 'oh man, he's never going to cause me any pain, we will live happily ever after' but let me tell ya, its not a bed of roses all the time...in fact now, I ask myself if raising a baby in this kind of relationship is going to be good and I tell myself 'not really'. We would all be in serious trouble if we kept up with the HAPPINESS all the time thought because thats a fairy tale dream and I am not so sure I believe in those.

What I do believe in, is that only you can be your ulitmate happy. Love you for you, be who you and do what you need to do and if in the mean time you find a nice person to share all those things with, great. But never expect there to not once be any pain with the person you end up loving, because like fluffy said, those are the people we allow to hurt us most.

This concludes MY broadcast day.

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 9:01 pm

I hope you're not upset with me for disagreeing with you.
But I do...

I am 35 and though there have been happy times, there has also been a big heaping steaming pile of tragedy and unhappiness.

I would rather face the future alone, than bring someone into my life who's not good for me.

I have seen a lot of couples that thrive on drama and friction - I want nothing to do with that.

fluffy · Post by **fluffy** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 9:35 pm

and i'm a masochist by nature.........i seek out pain and thrive on it........lol...i don't mean i whack myself with birch twigs or anything like that but i seem to be drawn towards complicated souls...........lol.....i guess it takes one to know one...............lol........

But there is always that spark of recognition in people who share painful experiences...............i guess it's called empathy....................

I have seen a lot of couples that thrive on drama and friction

but there can be a passion in conflict too........................it's knowing when passion stops and cruelty begins that's the difference...........

Fluffy

Jimenem · Post by **Jimenem** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 10:04 pm

I think Quirky knows what she's doing, she knows what she can handle, and we should support her decision to take it easy with relationships.

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Fri Dec 23, 2005 10:07 pm

I just need a miracle.

babygirl_lace · Post by **babygirl_lace** » Sat Dec 24, 2005 4:52 pm

I am not upset with you...I was just simply giving my point of view. I understand that you have been through stuff, we all have and we all have to protect ourselves the best way we know how. You have to do what is right for you.

quirky · Post by **quirky** » Sat Dec 24, 2005 11:15 pm

You asked what love is without pain.

Perfect.

Jim Carrey Online

Jims arms and hands fanclub

careful

hmm

let me rephrase

:)