Excellent Fluffy!
Posted: Mon Oct 30, 2006 6:32 pm
Poor, poor poochie...
bowls of dry ice bubbled and a smoke machine provided the misty atmoshpere..................
The pumpkins were lit......their warming orange glow illuminating the gardens in the cool Autumn evening.....
Bubba stood snorting and dribbling........his lead attached to Jenny........chewing a pigs ear, he seemed happy enough..............
Poochy was hiding under Jims bed, cowering in her little orange blankie she pushed herself as far back as she could.
'Poochy, Poochy??.......where are you baby?..........come to daddy'
and inevitably Poochy's eyes met those soft brown familiar ones she felt so safe with.
'what's wrong baby?...........come to daddy?........his strong
arms felt for her little furry body, and pulling her out Poochy was faced with 'Uncle Fester'......she wriggled, frightened......... 
'Poochy, it's me ..........and sniffing him she realised the creature was Jim in costume'......
'Now we're going downstairs for the wedding Poochy, you're gonna be a star....everyone will love you in that dress'........'It's gonna be such a blast, we're the first to have a pet wedding y'know'........
'oh great, she thought........and it's gonna be the first pet annullment too if i have my way..............'
and clasped strongly in those arms she loved the dog was taken to the slaughter(alter)
Singing loudly, 'here comes the bride'............Poochy was carried to the front amid murmers of 'awe how sweet' and soft applause........People giggled and laughed at the sight confronting them.
amid the chuckles the two dogs stood........faced by the pet wedding registrar.............a plump faced woman in her 50's. Dressed like Shrek.....
'dearly bowloved
we are gathered here today to join together this dog and his bitch in canine matrimony.
which is not to be entered into uninnoculated. Into this estate these two canines present now come to be joined. If any canine can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them bark now or forever hold their pee's.
who gives this mutt in marriage to this dog?
turning to Jim
'Her family and friends gathered here today do'.
registrar to Bubba
Do you Bubba take Poochy to be your woof – to share a kennel, – in the estate of matrimony? Will you hump her constantly, steal her food, give her fleas and and continually bestow upon her your grumpy moods, bad breath and flatulence, humping all others as long as you both shall live?
Laughter errupted around the scene and the excited Bubba barked playfully. Applause ensued......camera flashes lit the sky......
GROOM/Bubba:
Woof!!!!
registar to Poochy
Do you Poochy take Bubba to be your husband – to fight for a scrap of Blankie in the estate of matrimony? Will you loathe him, hate and kick him, in sickness and in health, for fatter and fatter, for bitings or for woes and continually bestow upon him your heart’s deepest loathings, regretting all others, keep yourself chained unto him as long as you both shall live?
BRIDE:/poochy
Hooooooooowlllllllll!!!!!!!.........letting out a heartwrenching wail Poochy struggled in her collar and lead........
Exchange of Wedding collars
registrar......
May these collars be blessed as the symbol of this union.
And putting the collar round Bubbas neck the registar was rewarded with a huge pink tonge lick kiss....
realising this was her last chance to escape her fate Poochy wriggled and struggled and howled..........Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
At that moment mayhem ensued, aware of a howling, growling Bubba.
Dogs barked, people shouted........breaking free Poochy ran round and round the group..........'what the hell has happened she thought'.........and stopping for a moment she looked at the scene b4 her. There stood Bubba, shaking his head violently and growling whilst an adult Skunky sunk her claws into his head..............kitty was taking swipes at his weenie with her razor sharp claws and Jim and Jenny stood looking in disbelief.........'OMG ................get that skunk off Bubba' she cried......'hey i'm not touching a skunk'...........you get it off'.......
Blinded, the bulldozer of a hound ran around excitedly.............and in one swift move knocked the cake to the ground.............
'Awe geez, not the cake'........and stepping forward to help Bubba Jim slipped in the cream cheese fondant filling and lay in the dogfood cake......
'awe Bollocks!!! he laughed and lay back in the mess laughing hysterically from his socks.............
Reaching down to help him up Jenny found herself grabbed by two strong arms and pulled into the sticky pile..............together they laughed and rolled in the cake as the guests cheered and clapped......
Meanwhile Bubba staggered towards the pool and headbutted the registrar, who fell in with an almighty SPLASH!!!!.......skunky had lept off in time and from a tree observed the chaos with mirth.............
Running to Kitty Poochy lept on her...........'thank you thank you, you saved me........and barking to Skunky 'i owe you one'............
She was saved.............she wouldn't be a hump slave for Bubba..........lol...he'd have to make do with legs and furniture...........
And leaping into Jim's lap Poochy licked his face excitedly before Kissing/licking Jens.............lol......
Time to party she thought as a wet miserable Bubba went off to lick his cat clawed tackle...............
And sitting in the chaos Poochy eyed another familiar face........Norman, Jen Anistons mongrel.........now that's more like it she giggled to herself......and with wagging tail she went over to sniff his bum and introduce herself properly.
fluffy
........................................................................................
HAPPY HALLOWEEN FOLKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ps i adore bulldogs too...........they are cute!!
