Jim Carrey Online

lol......did you notice the foreword???..........lol............yep......

fluffy

Alas, poor Yorick.

I knew him well Horatio.

lol..........no really.............it's based on a true story...........

fluffy

Revenge of the Rabbit, I didn't think rabbits ate meat though,
maybe they were Rabbid Rabbits.
Why would they take bones???
maybe they were makeing nests in the coffins and removing the
bones so they could make their nests, possible?
That's some story.
Believe it or Not!
Maybe Poochy is getting ready for Jim's next role.

it seriously happened in an Aberdeen graveyard.........it hadn't been looked after and the coffins had collapsed, then the bunnies dug holes and with their big fat furry feet, kicked out the bones...........
We were standing in an area covered in old bones................ called the horrified council who thought i was joking until they realised it was true............
ok...........PETA didn't show up but i'm sure if we had a local branch they'd have been there ...........lol......

fluffy

Poochy stretched out her paws and yawned, outside in the shade of the loggia she snuggled next to her masters leg. She was glad to have him back after the fracas at the cemetery. Banned from the film set she had been stuck at home, bored, with only Kitty and Mary to pass the time of day with. So for the little dog, the reunion had been all that bit more special.
At the Brentwood house Spring was in full throttle, showers came and went, the air smelt fresh and clear and overhead the birds were busy making nests and welcoming their little newcomers.
Poochy wandered over to the little lake and gazed in it's green depths....
A duck quacked it's warning and Poochie Yelped a reply....it was a good place for a little dog to be and soon she'd have all the attention she craved when the Easter guests arrived. She knew the signs all the cleaning and food shopping meant guests, which would mean lots of ear tickles and hopefully tasty food.....perhaps even chicken, she looked forward to it.
As Poochy bustled around in the bushes Duckie quacked another warning , she had eggs and ducklings hidden in the undergrowth and she didn't want them frightened by the nosy dog...
Poochy eyed them with curiosity, a stray town dog, she'd never seen a nest full of eggs and live duckling before. So lying flat, she krept towards them and sniffed....then stuck out her little pink tongue to taste their little heads..Mother duck flew at Poochy squawking and flapping her wings.....
The sleeping man awoke to the sight of the little dog being attacked by the angry duck..........
'what the hell is going on now'??.....and grabbing Poochy by the back legs removed the dog from the scene..........
But Poochy's curiosity was whetted..........the mother duck sat on the eggs and the cute little ducklings were the result. Her mothering instinct was kick started again, Kitty was too old to baby and Skunkie was well gone by now, Poochie wanted some new playmates..........

The house was ready for Easter, tulips and daffodils decorated the vases, cuddly stuffed bunny rabbits lounged on the furniture and pretty paper lanterns decorated the gardens. Baskets were filled with mini easter eggs and the garden prepared for a massive egg hunt......
Soon the house would be full of friends with their kids, excited at the chocolate heaven that awaited them................

Poochy meanwhile was sulking, banned to the garden she looked for a playmate. Kitty was dozing up a tree....
Then her nose began to twitch.........and following it she came accross a round metallic object........It didn't taste of anything.......but it was round like the duck eggs.....EGGS!!!!.............Poochy's eyes widened.......if she sat on the egg she would surely get a new playmate.......and gently nudging it into the undergrowth with her nose she made a little nest for herself...in the strong sunlight she became aware of another glinting object.....and once more following her nose came accross yet onther egg to mother, then another , then another.....all in all she came accross 6 shiny new eggs to nurture and hatch and settling down she began to dream of little fluffy ducks to play with.......

The kids arrived screaming with excitment and fun....and immediately they dived into the gardens looking for the eggs.........round and round and up and down, they shouted they moaned.....no eggs were to be found.....what on earth had happened to them??
Jim couldn't understand it.......he'd hidden them himself..........he knew there were 6 eggs in the gardens ........where had they gone??

Suddenly the air was filled once more with angry squawks and Poochy awoke abrubtly, realising a duckling had wandered near her own nest....
As wings flapped and teeth gnashed the guest ran to the scene.......
'omg, Poochy's covered in poop' came the cries.....The little dog was covered in brown.....All over her tummy, her legs, her head and her back...
looking at the scene Jim digested the vision Before him..Then his eyes caught the glimmer of glitter in the undergrowth. Pushing back the leaves lay the remains of the eggs, melted with the body heat of the little mutt.
Her 'babies' had melted........
Poochy stood forlonely as everyone laughed....where were her babies???........'and why did they taste so good'??........lol
And sticking out her little pink tongue began to tuck into the eggs.......

'time for another bath Poochy' chuckled a familiar voice, and grabbing the sticky wee dog Jim took her once again to be bathed........

I love these dog stories.
I can just imagine them.

What a sweet Poochy/Easter story Fluffly...

thanks folks.........poochy thanks you from the bottom of her colon.....

fluffy

Hehehe what a cute story.

**

call Mary kate and Ashleys agent!!..........they'd be perfect....

fluffy

Sitting licking her paws Poochy looked on at the happy group. There had been some changes over the past few months, new faces, new smells, the sounds of laughter. She eyed the newcomers carefully.
She was wary of the women, the blonde and her aide seemed very at home, but the wee golden haired laddie was fun. He tickled Poochy's ears and sometimes gave her some choice nibbles off his plate, yes she like him.
Sitting around the table outside in the mild Autumn sun Poochy watched, her heckles beginning to rise. Whilst they tucked into lunch she had to wait until her evening meal, she wasn't happy and eyeing the blonde woman began to feel irritated. Why should she have food and Poochy be hungry?.Why didn't her daddy feed her too?..
All she could see were plump white breasts, Grrrrrr......the terrier in Poochy was beginning to show now. Imagining her teeth biting into the 'flesh, searing at it, tearing at it.......Grrrrrrr........she could taste the skin.
Slowly and stealthily she circled the table quietly...........
Then leaping up lunged at the woman and sank her teeth into the plump white flesh, and in and instant was gone........scurrying under a magnolia tree to devour the seared white chicken breast in her mouth.

Hysteria ensued............laughter and screeches..........'Oh my God, did you see what that dog just did?' Jenny cried.
'She's a thief!!.........she stole my lunch'.........
'don't worry, you can have some of mine' Jim chuckled, Poochy was certainly worth a laugh..........

lol............Jen began to giggle.......'i have an idea how to make friends with that mutt'...........and picking up Poochy began tickling her ears........'Poochy, you and i are gonna be great friends, we have a wedding to plan'.
Wide eyed the dog watched Jenny's face........'yep Poochy, there's gonna be a wedding in this house.......and we gotta get you fitted for your outfit'

'After all Poochy, you wanna look your best on your big day......you're gonna make an adorable bride!'

(Oh the horror......... )


Fluffy

coming soon..........the wedding...........

Halloween 2006

Blinking in the morning light Poochy's heart sunk to her paws. Halloween had come around again, only this time Poochy was to be at the centre of the festivities. Yes Poochy and some hideously ugly bulldog called Bubba were to be married in some garish and ghoulish ceremony that evening.
She had been blissfully unaware until Mary (the Scottish housekeeper who is fortunately fluent in 'dog' ) took her to the dress fittings.

Dress fittings for a dog??........Poochy cringed at the thought. The fabric scratched her neck and tickled her nose and she looked ridiculous.

and don't mention the ghastly cabbage on her head.

'Och ye look a picture Poochy', chuckled Mary.'The maister and his lady will adore ye'. Poochy sighed, she knew when she was beaten.

Back at the house skeleton lights were being strung around the trees, fake spider webs were being spun between the branches and huge carved orange globes were placed around the poolside.



and the house was decked out for the party


The outdoor table was set with bowls of flowers, church candles and ghoulish decorations.................

Poochy sighed and lay under her favourite tree, it seemed her fate was sealed. Dozing softly her rest was disturbed by the great lumbering lump soon to be her 'partner for life'..........'geez she thought, am i expected to have puppies with that'......

Snorting roughly the bulldog sat down beside her........
.
'hey baby, you'd better hold on to your flea collar you're gonna be in for a wild ride'.....

Poochy's eyes widened like saucers..............omg, how was she gonna get out of this one.............but Poochy was made of strong stuff and turning to Bubba she smiled, turned around and let one rip in Bubbas face......lol..........She wasn't gonna take things lying down.......

But she had a plan................

Poochy was a loveable little mutt who had made many friends amongst the wildlife. And it was time to pull in a favour she thought to herself..........

Fast forward to that evening....................

The guests were present...........Jen Anistons dog Norman was there........Hazels sister too...........Iggy the Iguana was perched on the table.....................and other assorted pet guests were in costume.

the crew from burger King came in character-

Eddie and Ernie came as Yoda and wonderwoman

and Kitty was dressed as Frankenbutthead.


The human guests assembled looked like various rejects from B horror movies..........and in the centre stood a little alter, prepared for the jokey wedding.

Out lumbered Bubba.............



'ahhhh, isn't he sweet chorused around the gardens.........

Poochy shuddered......................this was gonna be a nightmare............

To be continued...............

fluffy

that's soooooooo cute fluffy!